he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
