she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
