Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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