She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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