Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
