Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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