break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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