im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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