Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I deserve this hangover.
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