I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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