i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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