I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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