You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
