She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
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She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
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Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize