Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
