So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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