I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
