It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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