cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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