ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
