well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
