it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
