Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
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