soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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