We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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