She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
