I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Welp...herpes.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
