I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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