quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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