i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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