i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize