Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
