He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
