Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Your cock deserves a montage
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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