Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
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I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
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i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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