If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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