I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He kissed a someone with a penis
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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