Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.