You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
