your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
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I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
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I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.