I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wish i was in the wii world.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.