Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.

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  (406): I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea. http://tfl.nu/bq8d
  Replies (7) Good night (1604) Bad night (670)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.

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  (801): i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one. http://tfl.nu/ahi8
  Replies (24) Good night (3977) Bad night (768)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i wish peter jackson would direct porn

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  (715): i wish peter jackson would direct porn http://tfl.nu/76vz
  Replies (14) Good night (3826) Bad night (717)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.

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  (410): He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college. http://tfl.nu/mdh1
  Replies (25) Good night (1149) Bad night (3729)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.

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  (254): I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah. http://tfl.nu/4ff0
  Replies (18) Good night (836) Bad night (5469)
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  (+91): View more from India

  I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.

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  (+91): I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin. http://tfl.nu/d09o
  Replies (7) Good night (2804) Bad night (1211)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez

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  (847): worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez http://tfl.nu/63fb
  Replies (11) Good night (962) Bad night (2717)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face

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  (606): I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face http://tfl.nu/ob2s
  Replies (5) Good night (1182) Bad night (2218)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"

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  (845): I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl" http://tfl.nu/lnr2
  Replies (5) Good night (1239) Bad night (770)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."

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  (239): Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..." http://tfl.nu/k8r7
  Replies (15) Good night (787) Bad night (2334)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.

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  (917): It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet. http://tfl.nu/tf3l
  Replies (3) Good night (646) Bad night (397)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.

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  (651): Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit. http://tfl.nu/rbgm
  Replies (1) Good night (718) Bad night (303)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.

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  (604): Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele. http://tfl.nu/5la0
  Replies (1) Good night (840) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.

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  (716): We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity. http://tfl.nu/f66f
  Replies (4) Good night (952) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.

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  (423): It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers. http://tfl.nu/qq58
  Replies (2) Good night (1218) Bad night (295)

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