he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?