She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
