you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
