Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
