And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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