i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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