Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize