I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
