I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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