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Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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