Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also, beer. Big fan.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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