Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize