how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
