I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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