i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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