I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
