Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
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I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
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Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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