well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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