It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
