so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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