we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
time to smoke my breakfast
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
