what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
