when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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