You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
