So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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