Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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