Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
