chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you win again, gameday.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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