My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
