Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
this boner is exhausting
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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