just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
