I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he fucked my hip out of place.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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