Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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